Star-Crossed
by Write.0r.Wrong
Summary: A one-shot about Kaori's death in her own point of view, and her own goodbye. This anime was such a train-wreck of an emotional roller coaster that I just had to write it. Hope you enjoy! UPDATE: Now with a bonus chapter!
1. Chapter 1: Final Farewells

**_"Because even a star that shines so bright, will eventually flicker and fade into the night."_**

* * *

**_Miyazono Kaori _**

All I wanted to do was leave my mark on this cruel world.

To touch the hearts of so many people, I would not—could not— be forgotten.

Instead I fell in love.

I fell in love with a boy who loved cats and egg sandwiches.

Who supported me when I had nothing, and offered me a chance when I didn't deserve it.

The one that showed me a world without pain, and a life without regret.

Who changed my world from monochrome to vivid technicolour.

The one that can touch my heart with the just sound of his piano.

Who gave me a reason to play the violin again.

Kousei, the boy who gave my life back to me.

I had given up, resigned myself to a fate of death. Quietly decided to fade from this world, unknown and unremembered. Because it was better for the people I loved, and for the people who loved me. So I accepted to disappear, in life, in death.

But then I met him again and told a single lie.

"Miyazono Kaori loves Ryota Watari."

It was the lie that led Ryota Watari to be my so-called love.

The lie that gave me a new friend and rival found in Sawabe Tsubaki.

But it was the lie that brought you back into my life, so I will never regret it.

And when you came back, my life found colour. Like the rainbow after a rain.

We shared so many memories, each more precious than the last.

_The first time. When you were only eleven, and playing your little heart out at your first recital ever. _

_That moment when the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I saw you again. Grown up, but still the boy I once knew._

_Our duet at the concert hall, the exhilaration of your notes beside mine, and the spotlights shining._

_The countless hours we spent bickering over insignificant things._

_That time I collapsed and you burst into the waiting room, sweaty and breathless, but still shining like the brightest star in the sky._

_Your performance with Aiza Nagi, that left me with a new feeling—envy._

_Everytime you visited the hospital, I tried to hide my blushes under a smile, while you stared at me like I was already a ghost. _

_Your last words to me, "Promise that we can perform again together, one more time."_

The memories flash through my mind, like snapshots of my life.

Don't forget me, Kousei. Even though I broke my promise, don't forget me.

We'll always perform together again, someday.

Because we're musicians right? And even if we hit rock bottom, that's the solid ground on which we will build our foundation.

So I turned away from what I had resigned myself too, and carved a new path.

A new journey.

Because I was selfish and wanted this love for myself.

Because I was cowardly and just could not let go of the world.

Because if I died now, my grave would be full of regrets.

Because I love you.

_"Goodbye, Arima."_

* * *

_**Author's Notes: Just a one-shot I had to do because I finished this anime, and it sent me into an emotional train wreck. This was just something I wrote on a whim so it's short, but I quite like it. I also noticed that in the anime, they do not focus much on Kaori's POV about her death, and instead a large amount of the spotlight is on Arima's performance and his final goodbye. It's not a bad thing, it's just that I think the dying girl should get some love before we never see her again, and so I decided to write this. Any reviews are always appreciated and constructive criticism welcome!**_


	2. Chapter II: Last Words

_To: Arima Kousei_

**I don't think I'm ready to read this letter.**

_Dear Arima Kousei,_

_It feels weird writing a letter to someone you were just with…_

**Not when you're gone.**

_You're a terrible person._

**I know.**

_Dunce. Blockhead. Idiot._

**You've told me many times.**

_I first saw you perform when I was five. It was at a recital for the piano school I was attending at the time. This awkward, clumsy kid came onto the stage and accidentally hit the piano stool with his butt. It was too funny. He turned to the piano that was way too big for him._

**You were there the first time I had a smile behind my piano onstage.**

_But the moment he played that first note, I became enthralled with him._

_The sound was beautiful, like a 24-colour palette. The melodies danced across the canvas._

_I was surprised when the girl next to me started crying. I wasn't expecting that at all._

**Emi was always an emotional one.**

_And to think, you stopped playing piano. Especially after moving someone like that._

**It wasn't really my choice you know.**

_You're terrible._

_You're the worst. You blockhead. You idiot._

**You'd think I'd know by now.**

_When I found out we were in the same middle school, I was overjoyed. But how would I ever come to talk to you? Maybe a casual stop at the lunch concession. Instead, I just watched you from afar. I mean. After all. You all seemed to get along so well. There wasn't really any space in there for someone like me._

**There's always room for someone who shined like you.**

_When I was a kid, I had to have an operation and I started having to be at the hospital for regular check-ups. In the first year of middle school, I collapsed and I was admitted over and over. With every visit, I was there for longer and longer. Really, I didn't get to class much in middle school, I spent more time at the hospital. And I knew something was wrong with my body._

_One night, I saw my parents crying in the waiting room and I knew that my time was running out._

**You should've told me sooner.**

_That's when I started running._

**I wouldn't be here now if you didn't.**

_I didn't want to bring my regrets with me to heaven, so I stopped holding back from what the things I always wanted to do. To make sure I had no regrets before leaving._

_I wasn't scared anymore to get contact lenses._

_I ate what I wanted instead of always worrying about my weight._

_Ignoring the rules of the score and playing music how I wanted._

**I'm glad you did.**

_And then I told a single lie._

_I lied and said that I, Miyazono Kaori, liked Watari Ryouta._

**Was that all a lie?**

_And that lie brought you to me._

**Maybe, but I think it was fate.**

_Please apologize to Watari for me… though I'm sure he's forgotten me by now._

**You've left more than you realize.**

_I think I need someone more wholehearted and earnest than him._

**You'd be surprised at him now.**

_I think we'd be fine as friends though._

_And please apologize to Tsubaki for me too._

_I want for there to be no hard feelings. And there was one thing I could never ask of her, to ask her directly to introduce the two of us._

_I don't think she would've had an answer for me._

_After all, she was in love with you._

_We all knew that._

_I think the only people who didn't know were you and Tsubaki herself._

**I was pretty dense back then, wasn't I?**

_That underhanded lie brought me to you, but you weren't what I was expecting._

_You were more boring, lonely and opinionated than I pictured you._

**Probably.**

_Your voice was lower and more masculine than I thought._

**Who knew?**

_You were a much friendlier person than I thought._

**I hope so.**

_Remember that bridge we jumped off? The water was so cool and refreshing._

**You looked like an angel.**

_Racing each other alongside the train. I really thought we could win._

**I think we almost did.**

_The moon we saw from the music room that night, like a delicious-looking bun._

**Only you would daydream about food.**

_Singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star with you as we rode on that bike together. Then falling out time. We're awful singers._

**I have to agree on that one.**

_There's something about hiding at school at night. I'm still sure there was something there._

_Snow looks just like falling cherry blossoms doesn't it?_

**Yeah, but they all wither in the end.**

_I'm a musician, yet my heart is filled with emotions from beyond the stage._

**It's the emotions offstage that carry us through when we play, even as we hit rock bottom.**

_It's strange how I can't forget the little things._

**Not at all, I'm doing the same.**

_What do you think?_

_Do you think I made a place in someone's heart?_

**You did.**

_I wonder if I found my place in your heart._

**You built it yourself.**

_I hope you remember me, even just a bit._

**Even if I forgot you, you'd become a ghost and haunt me.**

_I don't want to reset what we had._

**Me neither.**

_Please don't forget me._

**I won't.**

_Promise me you won't forget me._

**I promise.**

I'm glad it was you.

**Same here.**

_I hope this reaches you, Arima Kousei._

_I hope so, I truly hope so._

**Your letter and hopes have both reached me.**

_Arima Kousei, I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

**I love you more than I realized.**

_I'm sorry we couldn't eat all those canelés._

_I'm sorry I hit you so much._

_I'm sorry I was so selfish._

_I'm really sorry._

**_You shouldn't be sorry._**

_Thank You._

_Thank you for everything._

**_It's me who should be thanking you._**

_-Miyazono Kaori_

**_Who else could it be?_**

**Before you leave forever,**

**Thank you.**

**For the notes we played, the smiles we've shared, the secrets we've kept. For everything you've given me, everything you left me and everything you taught me.**

**And I'll always remember you, even though you broke our promise.**

**Dear Koari, I guess this is goodbye and farewell.**

**We'll meet again someday, somewhere, somehow.**

**Goodbye, Koari.**

* * *

**_Author's Notes: So yet another Your Lie In April vent. After watching the last episode again. The feels have hit harder than ever. This one was written accordingly to the last letter Koari sent Kousei. In case you couldn't tell, the BOLD was Kousei and the _**_Italics_**_ were Koari. Well anyway, Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! Reviews are appreciated and constructive criticism welcome._**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Your Lie In April._**


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